Thursday, May 29, 2008

Should there Be More Women in IT?

I've recently took part in a series of IT industry events organized in the US. My biggest surprise was to notice women are a minority to all these events. I don't know why exactly, but thinking about it, this is also true at work.

There are quite a few women at AXIGEN, but still, less then men. None in tech support, none in software development. Some work as testers, quite a few in marketing, sales and HR. And I have to wonder, why is that?

Thinking back to IT and computing universities, the numbers are the same. A lot less girls than boys. Is it because the field is not attractive for women? Is it because they don't like to have to prove themselves to the alpha males? Which is it, really?

I know from my own experiences that men in IT sometimes have troubling reactions. Some look down on you, as if you had no idea what you were talking about. Some are actually surprised when you know quite a few of the techie toys they play with. Some look in disbelief when you want to learn something more technical.

Of course, on the other side, there are those taking you as you are, regardless of any differences of any kind.

Which do you think are the reasons for us women to be such a minority in this field? Would more of us make a difference and if yes, in what way?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Hey girls,

First of all, I know that I have been an extremely idle member in this blog, not to mention the whole blogosphere lately. However, I occasionally stop by to see how everyone is doing. Bless your heart Alina for keeping up the blogging spirit!

Anyway, I have been feeling very bad today, and for some reason, I felt that here is where I wanted to vent it out. Not on my own blog, not with my friends... just here.... just felt that I just needed to talk to women/girls about this. Period.

Well ok, I am rambling and not getting to my point. I feel at a loss as to what to do. What would you do, when a friend's husband is being unfaithful? Do you tell her?

What if you know and are personally involved closely with both the husband and the wife. And you find out about the infidelity. And you don't tell the wife because you know her world crash in on her.She will be devastated to say the least. Her pride would make her demand a divorce (I know that) even though one of her children is in alot of trouble now and needs some medical attention. I just feel that she probably can' t handle both right now.

So, I found out, said nothing to the wife. in the mean while, I had alot of talks with the husband. trying to show him how he is wrong. How he is hurting himself, his wife and his children (yeah he has 3)! If things are not going that well in oyur marriage, you should work on them first, before deciding to look for solutions elsewhere. Anyway, after alot of grief, and talk and persuasion (though I had been boiling inside, I really think I did it for the kids), and similar talk from other parties as well, he seemed to come around, say he would end it, and make a real try with his wife etc etc.

though I was still not satisfied, I left it at that,and hopes things would work out for the best.

Later, the wife asks me straight out, if I know if there was someone else. I felt put in the hot seat instantly. I am not a very good liar. And I hate lying, and feel that the truth just is stuck in my throat waiting tocome out. not that i am a blabber mouth, just that actual SAYING false statements hurts me inside. I can't do it, neither do I like doing it. so today, when it was for a good cause, it felt awful still. I felt like I was betraying her. She told me :" as my friend, I expect you to tell me if something is going on that you know"

tht just hit me in the chest right then and there. Even now when I am writing this down, I feel awful. AWFUL. I feel like I am betraying her in some way. I hate it hate it hate it.

From what she tells me, it seems that he is very much still in that other relationship that she knows nothing about. I am so angry at him right now.

Don't know what to do. I feel awful for her. I feel very angry at the guy. I feel like I am a conspirator to it somehow by hiding it. I don't know. I just feel really really bad. May God give me the wisdom to do what is right.