When Women Are Guilty of Sex Discrimination

Chapeau bas for Michael Gray's post on the BlogHer conference! I strongly believe women deserve and should fight for equal rights and chances in any field of their life. But I really doubt they will ever obtain that by closing themselves into women-only circles.

The idea of succeeding is not to do well is a closed circle, it is to do well in the world. And the world is made up of boys and girls alike. So I should add a kudos to the Women 2.0 group of LinkedIn who also has quite a few men registered.

If BlogHer wanted to show us all what's right, why not have everything 50-50? Equal numbers of male and female speakers would have been closer to my ideals than a women only support group.

There's something I'd like to disagree with: dear Michael, there's a temporary huge difference between stay at home moms and dads. And that's the pregnancy and post-partum hassle. That's something no man will experience. And if you have more than one kid, well, it can amount to quite a huge period. Other than that, you're right, no real difference!

50 Most Influential Women Bloggers

NorthxEast has just published a list of the 50 most influential women in the Blogosphere. I have to admit I've only heard of 10 or 15 of them, but I am surely going to check them out and see if any of them are worth keeping an eye on.

I hope you also join me in this endeavor to know our fellow women bloggers and see who's actually worthy of the"most influential" list. Do you know of similar lists published on different sites?

How to Express an Opinion without Offending Anyone

I believe most issues we link to sex-based discrimination emerge from one major cause: when people think, write, speak, no matter what the subject really is, they do not leave room for exceptions. And believe me, there are dozens of exceptions.

So getting it right, preserving your right to have and express an opinion freely without having it twisted into a sexist remark or some other form of rudeness or discrimination. Remember there's always an exception! Think of English or French and you'll get a feeling of how simple the rules are and how many exceptions contradict them.

So don't say women do or want or think or act like. Say some women or go ahead, take a risk and say most women. In some cases, you might getaway with it. This goes both ways. Women should really stop thinking in terms of "men" as a compact crowd, all making the same choices and mistakes.

It's easy, I'm sure you can see it now. And as one of the rules of cruel humor says, it is all so hard to implement because it seems so easy! Can you try to assimilate this simple rule in your day to day life? I Know I'll try :)

Should there Be More Women in IT?

I've recently took part in a series of IT industry events organized in the US. My biggest surprise was to notice women are a minority to all these events. I don't know why exactly, but thinking about it, this is also true at work.

There are quite a few women at AXIGEN, but still, less then men. None in tech support, none in software development. Some work as testers, quite a few in marketing, sales and HR. And I have to wonder, why is that?

Thinking back to IT and computing universities, the numbers are the same. A lot less girls than boys. Is it because the field is not attractive for women? Is it because they don't like to have to prove themselves to the alpha males? Which is it, really?

I know from my own experiences that men in IT sometimes have troubling reactions. Some look down on you, as if you had no idea what you were talking about. Some are actually surprised when you know quite a few of the techie toys they play with. Some look in disbelief when you want to learn something more technical.

Of course, on the other side, there are those taking you as you are, regardless of any differences of any kind.

Which do you think are the reasons for us women to be such a minority in this field? Would more of us make a difference and if yes, in what way?

Hey girls,

First of all, I know that I have been an extremely idle member in this blog, not to mention the whole blogosphere lately. However, I occasionally stop by to see how everyone is doing. Bless your heart Alina for keeping up the blogging spirit!

Anyway, I have been feeling very bad today, and for some reason, I felt that here is where I wanted to vent it out. Not on my own blog, not with my friends... just here.... just felt that I just needed to talk to women/girls about this. Period.

Well ok, I am rambling and not getting to my point. I feel at a loss as to what to do. What would you do, when a friend's husband is being unfaithful? Do you tell her?

What if you know and are personally involved closely with both the husband and the wife. And you find out about the infidelity. And you don't tell the wife because you know her world crash in on her.She will be devastated to say the least. Her pride would make her demand a divorce (I know that) even though one of her children is in alot of trouble now and needs some medical attention. I just feel that she probably can' t handle both right now.

So, I found out, said nothing to the wife. in the mean while, I had alot of talks with the husband. trying to show him how he is wrong. How he is hurting himself, his wife and his children (yeah he has 3)! If things are not going that well in oyur marriage, you should work on them first, before deciding to look for solutions elsewhere. Anyway, after alot of grief, and talk and persuasion (though I had been boiling inside, I really think I did it for the kids), and similar talk from other parties as well, he seemed to come around, say he would end it, and make a real try with his wife etc etc.

though I was still not satisfied, I left it at that,and hopes things would work out for the best.

Later, the wife asks me straight out, if I know if there was someone else. I felt put in the hot seat instantly. I am not a very good liar. And I hate lying, and feel that the truth just is stuck in my throat waiting tocome out. not that i am a blabber mouth, just that actual SAYING false statements hurts me inside. I can't do it, neither do I like doing it. so today, when it was for a good cause, it felt awful still. I felt like I was betraying her. She told me :" as my friend, I expect you to tell me if something is going on that you know"

tht just hit me in the chest right then and there. Even now when I am writing this down, I feel awful. AWFUL. I feel like I am betraying her in some way. I hate it hate it hate it.

From what she tells me, it seems that he is very much still in that other relationship that she knows nothing about. I am so angry at him right now.

Don't know what to do. I feel awful for her. I feel very angry at the guy. I feel like I am a conspirator to it somehow by hiding it. I don't know. I just feel really really bad. May God give me the wisdom to do what is right.

The Theory Behind Gallic Guides to Gorgeousness

Recently there as been a slew of books concerning the merits of French women and how us non-French mortals can emulate them.

Such books contain a definite emphasis upon cliched stereotypes, and more disturbingly, on the concept that thiness equals happiness.

Here is a link to a good dissection of this trend and its implications.

Goldman to Invest $100 Million to Teach Women about Business

One of the world's largest investment banks, Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the world's largest investment bank, has recently announced they intent to spend $100 million into the education of 10,000 women from the Middle East, Asia and Africa. The funds will be used to develop the business and management skills of women from these regions.

The learning sessions will be developed with major universities from the US and other countries and it will and will last from 5 weeks to nine months, reports CNN Money.

Goldman Sachs Chairman and Chief Executive Lloyd Blankfein said those recruited into the program will learn basic business principals such as marketing and funding their business ideas. The hope is that they return to their communities, put what they learned to use, and add to their local economies.

"For example, Africa has about 2,600 women business students in a 900 million person continent. ... That's a waste," Blankfein told The Associated Press. "Helping women get a business education is an issue getting riper and riper, and there's a feeling it is long overdue."

A study by the World Bank showed about 70,000 highly qualified African scholars and experts leave their home countries each year to work abroad, most relocating to more developed countries. Africa then spends about $4 billion a year to recruit expatriates to fill those positions.

How Do Women See Site Usability

I have recently attended a Digital Marketing conference. During one of the debates, someone raised the question about women's online preferences. The basic idea they've drawn, is that unlike men, women aren't that keen on simple sites. They like to discover them, they like them to be beautifully designed and get them to look into them for a while before figuring everything out.

I was a bit dazzled by these affirmations, to be honest. Maybe is the way I am, or my line of business that requires a lot or searching, a lot of contacts to be found and a lot of reading. But I like things clear and simple. I do love exquisite designs, but if this means I don't find what I need fast enough, it becomes a big no-no.

Yes, I love sites that keep me coming back. Rich and meaningful content, frequent updates, great product description and ease of online purchasing, this is what I look online. But if a site tricky and while searching for an item I forget where I started, it gets really annoying.

How about you, girls, what do you think site usability is all about? How important is it to all of you? Is complicated, twisted and challenging something you find appealing in a website? And if there are women who do, why is that? And do you look for it in all circumstances or do you act differently when you're working or in a hurry to find something?

Always on the Move

People are constantly moving, it's a trait of the fast pace world we live in. New jobs, new members to their family, new climate needed or just an urge to change something, all these can lead to a relocation. Most of the times, I think of moving to a different city in a very bohemian way: pack everything, strive hard to make it all fit in your car, then drive away in the sunset.

Well, it actually is a little more complicated than that! Relocation is not just another simple process for all those who have to do it. It sometimes involves mortgage refinancing, spending days looking for apartments to rent (I have quite a few horror stories to share with you on this matter) or keeping an eye on bank foreclosures and hoping to get a great deal.

It is amazing how, after one relocation of my own, another one that shook my world pretty bad and about 12 times moving around Bucharest, I still see the idyllic aspect of this sometimes painful process. And yes, I know my car is a Peugeot 107 and it will take at least 3 drives to move all my stuff :)

And because I know all of this, next time I relocate or have to move from one side of Bucharest to another (sometimes having movers help you with this might take less when relocating, thanks to our lovely traffic), I hope to see a service such as National Relocations. I'd like to see all my options in one place, one that is clear and simple to use and has all details close by. I am quite tired of real estate agencies that offer no additional information, although it would really help them get more clients. By the way, I've never heard of a moving company around here. Is it because there are none, or because they have no idea how to promote themselves?

Oh no!

The other day I was in the opticians, getting fitted for some new contact lenses. I was sat at a little desk, in front of a mirror while I put the lenses in.

As I got up and smiled at the assistant, I caught sight of my reflection.

"Where did those come from?!"

By 'those', I mean heinous crow's feet. I looked at my face. I knew I had a mobile forehead, but I'd never noticed the agricultural scale furrows in it.

This is not good. I still get spots (sometimes), surely on the grounds of fairness, I should be spared wrinkles?

I repaired to the chemist, in order to purchase one of those overpriced beauty creams that the sensible adult in me doubts the effectiveness of.

It's either that or Botox and having an immobile face creeps me out more then wrinkles.

After wincing at the price of the indeed overpriced beauty cream and then being comforted by the free gift, I realised that showering and the occasional slathering with moisturiser does not really constitute a beauty routine. I consider applying hair conditioner to be the height of pampering. Laziness disguised as being low maintenance is a key trait of mine.

I also have a terrible habit of buying these beauty products and only using them a few times. There is not yet a product that works via osmosis, merely by being on your bathroom shelf. If such a product existed, I would be the first to buy it. The cosmetic companies should definitely work on that.

France, the Country of Romantic Vacations

Maybe because of my background (Romanians have always had this thing for France and Bucharest was known as Little Paris, plus novels, movies and other vacation offers from tourism agencies), I see France, and especially Paris, as the place for romantic getaways. Yes, museums and art galleries are a big attraction and I'd go see them all. But have you seen the dancing on the Eiffel Tower scene from the Highlander series? Nothing more romantic than that!
What I really want to see in Paris, besides the Versailles with all its range of famous attractions, is the Luxembourg garden. I read about in high-school, during the French classes. A excerpt from Anatole France if I remember correctly and the feeling I need to go there when I have the chance stayed with me.
I also plan to see each major city or at least pass through it when I get to France. Nice ranks high on the must see list, along with Cannes. For those planning a similar trip to mine, maybe some practical advice is in order. So have your pick of France hotels, Paris hotels, Nice hotels, and feel free to look around for accommodation in whichever city, resort or village you're attracted to.

Entry sponsored by CheaperThanHotels.com

Why Do Women Wear Gold Jewelry?

For Romanian so-called clothing/perfume/jewelry designer and vendor Janine ex-Sarbu, this question has a simple answer: women wear such jewelry to show their man's power!!! No kidding! I heard that in a radio ad. This is the idea she employs to promote her new diamond and gold jewelry line, Janine Joyeaux.

Oh, and in case you did not know, this power Janine is talking about also shows how her husband is tender and loving and whatever else he is... Never mind her own pleasure or taste in jewelry or her personality or getting gold jewels from someone else. It's all about men and their power.

Janine, who ever manages your campaign for the jewelry line should be fired. I could always do a better job...

Tarzan...

Call me old fashioned, but somehow, I picture the perfect relationship between a man and woman to have some of the Jane/Tarzan element. The strong man on which the woman, when she feels she needs to, can lean on him for support. The big strong man that will take care of her, that would protect her, that would advise her, and of course to comfort her. Yes of course, a woman also provides comfort, love and nurturing to the man, but from some aspects she would like to feel that he is more capable than her, so she can lean there when needed. Like wanting more physical strength; I would like to call on my husband to open a stubborn jar, and not vice versa. I would like to be able to take his opinion and respect it and be able to listen to it.

What happens when the women are too self sufficient in these areas? The world today puts us through ordeals that make us as capable as, if not more, than a lot of men. Modernized or not, a woman would like to feel that although she is happy and able to share the load, if she wants to lay back and just let him take care of her, he can. That is the point, not if he will, because most of us would like to share responsibility, but that HE CAN. Every woman occasionally takes a step back and looks at her husband with Jane’s eyes, and evaluates her Tarzan. Content that he has it in him, she would happily take the step forward again into the modern world where we stand hand in hand.

What happens when a woman is really smart? One very tricky situation is when she is much smarter than him. Though it would probably help her win a lot of arguments, and be able to get what she wants, I do not know if it will satisfy her as a woman. To feel that she is the wiser one, the one to guide him, and I guess ultimately, it makes sense that she will assume leadership. is It not difficult t follow when you feel that you are more capable that your leader?
I sometimes feel that maybe part of what makes me feel this way is my star sign. Being a Pisces , the romantic side usually outweighs my practical side. Idealistic images in my mind of a relationship where the man is the mentor, protector, lover and provider, plus of course partner and bestest friend. My romantic Utopia I guess, or shall I better name it “La La land”?

All in the Details

Some would argue that a home design you love is based on paying attention to details. Therefore, your house would be surrounded by all the things you love. So there is no surprise a store can offer over a thousand models of residential mailboxes. If you get a lot of mail, and mailboxes are what you see at least everyday, why not chose one that pleases your eyes and in turn says something about yourself?

Having a certain mailbox can be a powerful statement. It's sometimes the first thing people see when coming to your house. So why not tell them you're stylish or trendy or just alternative? No reason not to, and that's why the commercial mailboxes business is expanding. Think about it: we personalize email inboxes with colors and everything. It seems only natural that some of us would take great interest in front door mailboxes too.

I for on love this model. I'd love to see it someone's yard on my way to work. And the company selling them also has a very nice affliate program. Efficient too: they pay you to join. Why? Probably because every other business offers such a program and they know they should go the extra step to convince you to join theirs.

This is a sponsored post.

Recommended Reading: On False Values

I've just run into an extremely interesting post on the false values and tactics today's musicians and magazines are promoting in what women's behavior and their relationships should be. The post depicts the very trendy belief that we are free to go for everything we might want, regardless of who else we harm. Go take a peak and tell us what you think!

I Now Pronounce You Robot and Woman

Humans might marry and have sexual relationships with robots within the century, according to an MSNBC article.

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

What is the theory based on? Technological breakthroughs of course, but also ancient Greek myths and current behavior of people being attracted to computer programs:

Not only has science fiction explored this idea, but 40 years ago, scientists noticed that students at times became unusually attracted to ELIZA, a computer program designed to ask questions and mimic a psychotherapist.

Would that be an actual answer to gender differences and issues? And will humanity accept it easier than same sex marriage? Would gender count at this point? And what about babies? Will we cut all blood relationship between the baby and at least one of the parents? These are the questions I leave you with.

Comment the issue on Slashdot as well.

Skateboards, my loves

Why I love skateboards that much? Well easy! As I was growing up, up until secondary when we rediscovered ourselves, girls and boys had a golden rule of never mixing. Why was that an issue to me? Well, I liked football, tennis, climbing trees and other such "girlie" things. And I had a hard time convincing boys to let me play. And all this lasted until my step dead got me my first skateboard! It was cool, with incredible colors and none of us knew how to use it. But because I was the privileged one on our block, I was allowed to play with boys.

Now when I look at what skateboards are available, I am seriously taken aback. And look at the names, it's like talking about spaceships: California Advanced CAB 20 Scream Complete Skateboard, or Sector 9 38" Trylam Professional Longboard Deck Only, or Remote Control Raptor 2.2 Electric Skateboard (this one is my absolute favorite). And if this is not enough, you have some cool skateboarding equipment to help you practice, again with futuristic names: Factor X Quarter Pipe and Razor Punk Ramp.

These all look extremely addictive and if you have time to look, the prices are not that high. Especially when I compare them with what they used to cost here when I was a kid.

After School Assisted Learning

When children start school, most education is done within school premises. But it does not also end there. Homework preparation, getting ready for exams, it's all part of the same process. Most children do just great on their own and with some occasional help from their parents. But others need tutoring, not necessarily because they lack the ability to learn, but because they need more time doing so, or they don't pay enough attention in school or they simply reject some subjects.

When I was about to finish secondary school, most of us took Maths tutoring to prepare for our first major exam (the one before high-school). That was the trend, and needed or not, parents thought it was a great idea. Algebra, geometry, they all seemed to scare us all. But what I really needed homework help with was Physics, as most of us had trouble getting any of it from my first Physics teacher.

Now that we live in a technological paradise, online tutoring is also available. I guess it is a good idea, given that anything computer-related tends to attract children and teenagers more than a classical tutor.

Entry sponsored by TutorVista.com

Thinking of Moving Together with the One?

Moving together is something couples always look forward to. The privacy, the enormous time together, the play family game and the freedom to act as you both feel like. But what happens when things happen the wrong way? Not as in not getting along, but as in mishaps and wrong doings that generate an enormous amount of stress for both of you. Well, I came up with a list after this weekend of moving:

• breathe
• breathe again
• remember you are both tired and possibly cranky
• go over the reasons for doing this again
• think of the finish line
• forget about how the place looks with all the stuff inside, that will definitely change
• yes, you don't have everything you need, that happens
• yes, you will forget to buy everything in on the list at the supermarket, so breathe some more
• if you fight, remember it's because of the stress
• physical work helps with tension and frustration, and you have plenty of that coming your way
• think of that celebration dinner coming your way
• think of all the advantages of the new place's location
• breathe again
• and breathe some more
• cry if you have to
• remember you are also exaggerating

That's all folks! Have fun while at it :) I did!

Online Shopping with Coupon Chief

Coupon Chief is the place to go for those who believe that shopping at a lower price is better than a trip to the stores. I have to say more of those I've been talking to wish they could have all their shopping done online and delivered home, given the general lack of time that seems to affect all of us. Coupon Chief collaborates with all the online stores that matters, so there's no chance to miss out on what you are looking for: books, food and wine, computers, clothes, shoes, flowers, gifts or jewelry. All of these at a lover price.

I took a look at the HP Store. As you might now, I am a big fan. I love my HP notebook and have a bad habit of taking it everywhere with me, although sometimes I don't even go near the power button.

Given my current mood, waiting for desert after dinner, the Fanny May coupons to get delicious candy. Basically, everything you wanted is there, at a mouse click. I'd see this as the place to go for quick shopping, if you only see the need fulfilling part of it. If you see shopping as a social act, well, that's a different story.

Sponsored by Coupon Chief