This is my first post here, and although the title of it sounds pretentious or lame, that only the whole story will reveal.
I want to talk about how it is like to come out of your shell sometimes, even though, weirdly enough, you are far from being shy. It needs some courage and a bit of spark, at the right moment. I had this spark today, therefore, I made my revolution, thank you to my sweetest friend Alina, who taught me that "you are the one in charge when it comes to what you feel". But hey, what am I talking about here, you might all wonder by now, if you haven't rolled your eyes already. :)
I am asking you, how do you feel when you are nice and the nicer you get, the uglier people behave around you, just like a downward spiral with a bad end. Oh well, I have this "friend" or better said, acquaintance, and she always felt the need to attack me somehow, when it comes to my skills, to my appearance, to anything else under the sun. You know.... with those silly remarks you can hardly have an intelligent answer for, go figure.
Today, I told her what I feel about something she wanted to be praised for, I told her the truth, that it was crappy, in short, I felt I am fed up to be nice and show her only the good side when there was hardly any of it, I was harsh and critique. She took it badly and her arguments were so poor that it made me wonder, why do I wanna be "friends" with someone I feel no connection with, instead I am trying to make a connection by giving but not receiving. I had this smirk on my face, of coming out as my true self and tell people the truth as they deserve it, just like I tell it to myself, so too many times.
She is not important for me, I am not important for her, I am sure we have already replaced each other by now, she, with a moaning about my behavior, me, with this wonderful blog I can pour my silly thoughts into. And, I smile to this screen, I feel that after few years of trying to be nice I can almost be mean with those who deserve it, I feel the days in which I go in a corner to feel bad as I didn't have the right answer to an attack, are slowly going away....
It is like you face bullying more or less, I was too blind to see it, until ....today. Some of you might ask, was that woman deserving your bluntness? Oh, yeah, my answer would be, as I made my revolution today, and I started with the right person.
ps:
Thank you Alina and each one of you I know very little yet, for giving me a peice of your blog, to share my world with you. :)
I want to talk about how it is like to come out of your shell sometimes, even though, weirdly enough, you are far from being shy. It needs some courage and a bit of spark, at the right moment. I had this spark today, therefore, I made my revolution, thank you to my sweetest friend Alina, who taught me that "you are the one in charge when it comes to what you feel". But hey, what am I talking about here, you might all wonder by now, if you haven't rolled your eyes already. :)
I am asking you, how do you feel when you are nice and the nicer you get, the uglier people behave around you, just like a downward spiral with a bad end. Oh well, I have this "friend" or better said, acquaintance, and she always felt the need to attack me somehow, when it comes to my skills, to my appearance, to anything else under the sun. You know.... with those silly remarks you can hardly have an intelligent answer for, go figure.
Today, I told her what I feel about something she wanted to be praised for, I told her the truth, that it was crappy, in short, I felt I am fed up to be nice and show her only the good side when there was hardly any of it, I was harsh and critique. She took it badly and her arguments were so poor that it made me wonder, why do I wanna be "friends" with someone I feel no connection with, instead I am trying to make a connection by giving but not receiving. I had this smirk on my face, of coming out as my true self and tell people the truth as they deserve it, just like I tell it to myself, so too many times.
She is not important for me, I am not important for her, I am sure we have already replaced each other by now, she, with a moaning about my behavior, me, with this wonderful blog I can pour my silly thoughts into. And, I smile to this screen, I feel that after few years of trying to be nice I can almost be mean with those who deserve it, I feel the days in which I go in a corner to feel bad as I didn't have the right answer to an attack, are slowly going away....
It is like you face bullying more or less, I was too blind to see it, until ....today. Some of you might ask, was that woman deserving your bluntness? Oh, yeah, my answer would be, as I made my revolution today, and I started with the right person.
ps:
Thank you Alina and each one of you I know very little yet, for giving me a peice of your blog, to share my world with you. :)
3 comments:
Well, I used to be like that. Not speak my mind and try to keep my criticism to myself. While others didn't. Luckily or unluckily, it is hard to shut up or shut myself up, so I say what I think, good or bad. Those close to me, take it as it is. Those who only need euphemisms, understand whatever they want from what I say. I give what I would want back, honesty. And it pays off. people I genuinely connect with seem to stick around :)
Welcome to the club Beatrice.
Liked your first post so much and connected with it. I believe you did the right thing, even if you think that's mean. It is so disappointing to find people who are very nice to treat you in a mean manner. Of course you have to strike back whenever you have the chance. Too much niceness will kill you.
If a person can't appreciate your good heart and sincere smile, show them your claws. They had it coming.
Thank you both for your comments, it is good to know how other people feel about a situation like this. :)
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