Call me old fashioned, but somehow, I picture the perfect relationship between a man and woman to have some of the Jane/Tarzan element. The strong man on which the woman, when she feels she needs to, can lean on him for support. The big strong man that will take care of her, that would protect her, that would advise her, and of course to comfort her. Yes of course, a woman also provides comfort, love and nurturing to the man, but from some aspects she would like to feel that he is more capable than her, so she can lean there when needed. Like wanting more physical strength; I would like to call on my husband to open a stubborn jar, and not vice versa. I would like to be able to take his opinion and respect it and be able to listen to it.
What happens when the women are too self sufficient in these areas? The world today puts us through ordeals that make us as capable as, if not more, than a lot of men. Modernized or not, a woman would like to feel that although she is happy and able to share the load, if she wants to lay back and just let him take care of her, he can. That is the point, not if he will, because most of us would like to share responsibility, but that HE CAN. Every woman occasionally takes a step back and looks at her husband with Jane’s eyes, and evaluates her Tarzan. Content that he has it in him, she would happily take the step forward again into the modern world where we stand hand in hand.
What happens when a woman is really smart? One very tricky situation is when she is much smarter than him. Though it would probably help her win a lot of arguments, and be able to get what she wants, I do not know if it will satisfy her as a woman. To feel that she is the wiser one, the one to guide him, and I guess ultimately, it makes sense that she will assume leadership. is It not difficult t follow when you feel that you are more capable that your leader?
I sometimes feel that maybe part of what makes me feel this way is my star sign. Being a Pisces , the romantic side usually outweighs my practical side. Idealistic images in my mind of a relationship where the man is the mentor, protector, lover and provider, plus of course partner and bestest friend. My romantic Utopia I guess, or shall I better name it “La La land”?
What happens when the women are too self sufficient in these areas? The world today puts us through ordeals that make us as capable as, if not more, than a lot of men. Modernized or not, a woman would like to feel that although she is happy and able to share the load, if she wants to lay back and just let him take care of her, he can. That is the point, not if he will, because most of us would like to share responsibility, but that HE CAN. Every woman occasionally takes a step back and looks at her husband with Jane’s eyes, and evaluates her Tarzan. Content that he has it in him, she would happily take the step forward again into the modern world where we stand hand in hand.
What happens when a woman is really smart? One very tricky situation is when she is much smarter than him. Though it would probably help her win a lot of arguments, and be able to get what she wants, I do not know if it will satisfy her as a woman. To feel that she is the wiser one, the one to guide him, and I guess ultimately, it makes sense that she will assume leadership. is It not difficult t follow when you feel that you are more capable that your leader?
I sometimes feel that maybe part of what makes me feel this way is my star sign. Being a Pisces , the romantic side usually outweighs my practical side. Idealistic images in my mind of a relationship where the man is the mentor, protector, lover and provider, plus of course partner and bestest friend. My romantic Utopia I guess, or shall I better name it “La La land”?
6 comments:
Doshar, you ask a tricky question. Marketers think women do guide men in what they choose to buy and to own. They manage incomes and make a lot more purchase decisions, while men merely sign the contracts and bring the money in.
So smarter or not, I think women are pretty much accustomed to guide their families, do the research and advise.
A woman being smarter would not necessarily mean she won't feel satisfied. Maybe she just wants more from her relationship than just an intellectual challenge :)
But you are very right about women being Jane once in a while. You want to know that if something goes wrong, you have someone to depend on.
i think that for a relationship to last, the two must have a similar degree of intelligence.
sometimes smart men go for dumb blonds (sorry for the stereotype, i'm not trying to suggest that all blonds are dumb :P) because they get blinded by looks. however that rarely lasts.
sometimes, much more seldom than the previous case, smart women go for stupid hunks.
however intelligent people require conversation and i honestly believe that after a month with the dumb blonds and stupid hunks they'll come back to their senses. and that the person they'll end up with in the long term will be someone intelligent.
just my two cents...
Ilya, being dumb is one thing, being less intelligent is something else. For example, someone with a broader culture might be seen as smarter by some. That does not mean you are dumb. You could learn from them. And you could know more on financial stuff. That would make you smarter in that field :)
If you exclude the being dumb alternative, intelligence is quantifiable (IQ, emotional intelligence meters, etc) and very relative at the same time.
the thing is that if you truly see yourself superior to someone, you shouldn't be with them.
a true relationship is based in equality - which must not be confused with identity. but both partners must perceive each others as equals.
sure, outside people may think one of them is more intelligent. or that iqs may show that one of them actually is more intelligent. it's how they see each other that matters.
i may have exaggerated in my previous comment with dumb and intelligent people. however the essence remains the same: no-one could possibly be with someone in the long term, in a true relationship, unless they perceive each other on equal terms. unless of course they have other reasons for being with them (like money...).
I like this topic a lot because I'm exactly on the same page as Jane :) I like my partner to be smart, of course and also powerful, strong. This is very important to me because it doesn't matter how many degrees I may hold, what fantastic job I might have, at the end of the day I need someone to lean on. I think this is valid for anyone.
Related to intelligence, a true relationship means considering both partners smart. If you think your partner is not as smart as you or is smarter, then in my opinion, that relationship will not last.
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