I'd always choose love.
Up or down, good or bad, I don't mind
Just as long as it's real
Finest Dreams -Richard X featuring Kelis
Here is my question. How do you know it's real love? Without sounding too Whitney Houston, how can you tell if it's infatuation or something more lasting, the kind of love where you're sitting in the sun together in your eighties.
Is it love that is the key ingredient to a lasting relationship, or it is something more than that?
posted by Safiya
Comments:
- LouLou said...
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Safiya,
What is unconditional love? If someone loves you for being a good-listener then their love is conditional on your continuing to be a good listener. Which should not be a problem for you if being a good listener is part of who you are anyway.
Unconditional love is like a mother's love. She loves you because she gave birth to you. It doesn't matter what you are or who you are, she still loves you for existing.
That's not what we look for in our partners. We want our partners to have conditions because only then will they recognize & value our good qualities. And we also want our partners to need us, to need things from us. Feeling needed is a big part of feeling loved.
Would you want a partner who doesn't want or need anything from you, who makes no demands whatsoever & to whom none of your good qualities make any difference? - Sarah said...
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Maxxed out:
I got your back here ;) - Sand-E Sez said...
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The older I get the more and more I’ve come to believe that love is this thing we chase because it is the ultimate high. It feeds our ego. It is our self validation. And maybe the key to any relationship is the inability of both sides to loose faith in “being in love”. The key maybe is the continuous attempt to sustain that high. Realistically speaking, I think it boils down to both parties being invested, not having a back door/ quick escape. I suppose it also has to do with tolerance levels and how comfortable you make people around u feel. Any two can be in a functional relationship but without the emotion there is no zing or zest and then you’re left with 2 people going through the motions.
Defenitly not love
more of a sense of security and safety
a sense of a partnership and joined fates
an established feeling of undisputed trust
a sense of longing and needing
then last but not least
a tad of passion and a lotta lust .
I believe in love i just don't acknowledge its super human magical hollywoodian powers .
I'm an atheist in the shrine of love if you will ...
hey safiya,
I think what makes any marriage or a relationship successful is the sense of commitment , which will happen naturally if there's love .
Love needs time to grow , and needs care from both sides.
as for u question... how do u know it's real love..well u just know :).
I agree with Rain, love is the main ingredient, noursihed carefully and spiced up with other little traits that make it all so perfect! Commitment, trust, passion, these all highlight the feeling of love. And at a certain point, you know it's that one relationship that you hope to make forever!
The crowd here is all pro-love
thats 3 to 1
i need back-up !
Safiya,
To me love is when you've seen your partner at their worst & they've seen you at your worst & you still want to be together. It's when you feel totally accepted, chosen, connected, when you stop pretending, trying to impress.
That's the basis. Of course that can't mean you take each other for granted. You still have to work to maintain the passion & the excitement, the laughter. But the thing is with the right person that won't feel like work.
To me all of that together is love. If you have the connection but you neglect it, boredom will creep in & with boredom distance & the connection will be broken. I see so many couples like that. With only force of habit keeping them together. It's so sad. Especially when you know they were in love once.
And if you have the excitement & passion but not the connection then excitement can't last very long. That has the making of a wild fling but not something lasting.
So it's got to be both.
Just my two cents.:)
If a solid friendship and unconditional love are your foundation, I think your relationship stands a good chance of surviving for the long haul. I also think Rain and Alina offer a lot of wisdom.
You don't want to sound "too Whitney Houston"? You can't go wrong with this duet by Luther Vandross and Gregory Hines. It's a gem.
Can love ever be unconditional though? I think there are always conditions.
I don't think there is that unconditional love.. There are always conditions and requirments.